Living Your Truth

 

By Theda Renee Floyd, PhD, RN, HHP

 

 

OPENING THOUGHTS

 

Learning to be a good and competent healer through self-healing is the initial step in becoming a transformational healer.  If you aspire to be a truly transformational healer, you must first focus on your relationship with your essential self.  The smaller self or “I” is often referred to as the ego.  The Larger Self may also be called the Transpersonal Self or Higher Self.  The integrated self and Self comprise the true or essential self, and the will is the most direct expression of it.  It is through the will that we bring the future into reality.  It is no coincidence that the word will is used in the future tense of all English verbs:  I will go, I will talk to them, I will finish my book.  Will is a human evolutionary acquisition, still very much in development (Ferrucci 85). 

 

As children we were rewarded for doing what we were “supposed to do” and punished when we didn’t.  At a crucial time of developing autonomy, our will becomes structured by things outside of ourselves, without regard for the needs and direction of the self within.  We are trained to be obedient.  Obedience does require will, but it is the will of another that is projected onto us.  It no longer originates in our own body, but in someone else’s—our parent’s body, our lover’s, our school’s, or perhaps a military body.  When we cannot claim our will, we are opened to manipulation by others. 

 

Autonomy is the capacity of an organism to function freely according to its own intrinsic nature rather than under the compulsion of external forces.  With autonomy, we can truly and freely choose, bearing the full responsibility of self-determination.  If we are unable to see ourselves as separate beings, we are unable to take responsibility for our actions.  We remain passive and irresponsible, often whining and complaining about the state of our affairs, ruled by the transitory whim of the group, the culture, our partners, or parents. 

 

At times, we are all dramatically confronted with situations which invite us to autonomously make use of will.  If we do so, our psychic voltage rises and we can move on to even greater freedom.  You must be aware of what goes on inside of you before you can build a bridge to another and effectively connect with your clients.  You can only ask another to do the work that you have personally done.  Becoming a holistic healer is a journey that begins with your relationship with yourself. 

 

Your relationship with yourself is the central template from which your personal destiny manifests.  The relationship with the essential self is the most important and crucial relationship in your life.  Your career, your personal relationships, your home, and your health are all the direct result of the quality of your relationship with you.  The way you hold yourself creates a vibration that sends a message to the world and the universe about who you are, what you are entitled to, and how you should be treated.

 

The relationship with the essential self is the way you hold, perceive, believe in, and relate to you.  It is comprised of the various thoughts you have about yourself, the ideas you have about how others perceive you, the emotions you feel about yourself, your judgments about yourself, whether you abuse, neglect, or honor your needs, feelings, and wants.  It also includes the promises you make to yourself, the subsequent actions that you take, and the manner in which you deal with both achievement and defeat.  When things go your way, how do you express your satisfaction?  When things go awry, how do you deal with your displeasure? 

 

 

THE TWELVE STEPS

 

The following twelve steps summarize what it means to be a transformational healer, empowering others to transform their own lives.  You listen, trust, and do what your Higher Self indicates.  You are willing to listen to your own inner wisdom and go where the messages, lessons, and guidance take you.  When you live your truth, you do not necessarily fit into the world of convention, but rather connect with your own purpose and align yourself with your value system and principles.  When you live your truth, you are committed to fulfillment rather than the trappings of success.  You are dedicated to authenticity rather than position, prestige, or perks.  You are devoted to your truth and honoring your ultimate purpose in life rather than momentary gratification.  It is because you have this unswerving allegiance to connection, meaning, and the deeper values in life that you have the ability to support your family, friends, colleagues, and clients in being loyal to their Higher Selves. 

 

Read over the following twelve steps to living your truth, and ask yourself if you are willing to live life from this joyful perspective.  If you are, then you truly can be a transformational healer. 

 

One:  Enjoy every day of your life, and have fun doing whatever you do.  Enjoyment means to find the joy in whatever you are engaged in.  Joy is not so much found in any particular action as it is created within the person who is performing the act.  When you find the joy within you, you bring it with you wherever you go, to whatever activity you do.  It is part of your essential self, and no one can take it from you. 

 

Two:  Feel, experience, and honor your feelings.  Feelings are the outward expression of your innermost reality.  Feelings enable you to connect with your authentic self.  Emotions connect your physical self with your spiritual self and are a barometer of your overall well-being.  Your feelings indicate how you are in relationship to yourself and others.  When you allow your feelings, you demonstrate that you respect your reality.  When you honor your feelings, you place your personal experience above saving face or pleasing others. 

 

Three:  Tell the truth, your truth, to the best of your ability.  Telling the truth means that you connect to your essential self and your own perception of reality.  It means that you look deeper than the surface explanation of your circumstances.  Telling the truth means that you go beyond appropriateness and decorum, and reveal what may be objectionable.  Telling the truth is about being your authentic self and letting others experience it, regardless of their reaction. 

 

Four:  Focus on solutions rather than on problems.  Your orientation to reality is to either dwell on the problem or on the solution.  It is always your choice; however, the problem produces headaches and heartaches, while the solution provides a wonderful lightness of being.  When you are committed to the solution, it means that you won’t allow the problem to slow you down, drag you down, or sour your spirit.  It means that you always know there is a solution to every problem, and you strive to create win-win outcomes. 

 

Five:  Believe in yourself, believe in others, and believe in the impossible.  Believing in yourself means that you hold yourself in high esteem.  It means that you validate your accomplishments and celebrate your successes.  It also means that you honor yourself and wouldn’t consider demeaning or sabotaging yourself.  You take time for your needs and wants, and you care for and about yourself.  In addition, it means that you are willing to go for the seemingly impossible, that which appears unreasonable to even want. 

 

Six:  Be committed to moving forward in your life, and reaching out for help when you get off track or stuck.  If you expect others to reach out to you, you must be willing to take personal inventory, notice when you are stuck, tell the truth, and do whatever you need to do to become unstuck.  Living your truth means that you are never too proud or too arrogant to reach out to other healers to obtain support, encouragement, and validation.  In other words, you apply in your life that which you ask your clients to apply in theirs—you walk the talk. 

 

Seven:  Love yourself unconditionally, all the parts of you, and treasure who you are.  Conditional love means that you accept yourself only when you live up to the expectations and standards that you have established—when your body looks the way it should, when you produce the results that you have outlined, when you have the ideal relationship, and when your life is the perfect picture of success.  When you love yourself unconditionally, you love and accept yourself even when certain aspects of your life may be imperfect.  When you are sick in bed, have a fight with your best friend, or let someone down, you still love and accept yourself.  Unconditional love is about treasuring who you are and honoring your relationship with yourself.  When you don’t live up to your own standards, you look and see what the lessons are, learn , let go, and then move on 

 

Eight:  Look within for your messages, guidance, and direction.  Looking within means that you are focused on the spiritual dimension of your being, and listen to your own inner wisdom.  It means that you reflect on your options and choices before you act, checking in with your essential self.  You must be aware of what goes on inside of you before you can build a bridge to another and effectively connect with your clients.  You can only ask another to do the work that you have personally done.  Messages, guidance, and direction are always there if you are willing to take the time to look within and listen to your own inner wisdom. 

 

Nine:  Pursue your dreams, your inspiration, and your messages.  Going for your dreams may not always be convenient.  Life presents us with tests and lessons that taunt, “How much do you really want it?”  When you go after your dreams, inspiration, and messages, you realize that you will be pushing the boundaries—stretching into larger shoes than you previously filled.  If you are going to be an example to others, you need to show the way.  Showing the way means leading others to their inspiration.  It also means that you utilize your own healers when needed to support you in maintaining self-determination and the process of bringing your desired results to fruition. 

 

Ten:  Reach out to a higher power when you need support.  You need to be willing to strive to see your circumstances from a higher perspective.  You don’t need to believe in a specific doctrine or religion, but you do need to consider that higher powers are available to help when you are in need.  Everyone has the ability to communicate with their own Higher Self.  The Higher Self represents whatever higher power you are aligned with:  God, Goddess, Universal Consciousness, Source, ascended masters, deities, angels, spirit guides, devas, animal totems, and so on.  It is my experience that there is a hierarchy of Higher Selves or Beings, like octaves on a musical scale.  Each level is a higher level of consciousness or expanded dimension of our authentic self.  At each level, the Beings serve as guides to those below it in the hierarchy. 

 

Eleven:  Be responsible for your actions, and take charge of situations that you are able to resolve positively.  Being responsible does not mean that you are to blame.  It means that you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own actions.  It demonstrates that you have the capacity to function freely according to your own intrinsic nature rather than under the compulsion of external forces.   It shows that you are willing to bear the full responsibility of self-determination and learn from everything that happens to you.  It also demonstrates that you are willing to take a leadership role in all areas that can possibly be resolved. 

 

Twelve:  Regard everything in your life as a mirror, learn the lessons, search for perfection in the grand scheme of things, and self-correct lovingly.  Your commitment to learn and grow must be more important than your need to either retreat or overcompensate.  The deficient response is to shyly retreat in order to avoid confrontation or exposure.  The excessive response is to overcompensate with a compulsive need to assert our power, ability, or achievements.  Rather, this is the moment we must remind ourselves to not regret the choices of our past.  We made those at the level of our past perception, and the experiences relating to those choices brought us to our current level of awareness.  This is the perfection in the grand scheme of things.  When you see the perfection, you examine the situation from the point of view of being essential to teach you a lesson that you might not learn otherwise (Carter-Scott 123-132). 

 

In taking these first twelve steps, we come to perceive that continuing to make the same choices that we have made in the past will lead almost inevitably to the same outcomes.  So, if we want to change the future, we must change the present.  When you live your truth, you align all that you do with all that you are. 

 

 

CLOSING THOUGHTS

 

When you are living your truth, you are paving the way for all of your clients who are interested in going for their dreams and making the seemingly impossible happen.  You integrate all facets of yourself into one being led by your Higher Self, the most positive and life-affirming part of you; and you support others in living from the direction of this most positive and life-affirming part of themselves because you now know that it is possible to do so.  When you are living your truth, people are drawn to you because of the exquisite light that you exude.  Now, you have come to understand what it means to be a transformational healer, empowering others to transform their own lives. 

 

 

Works Cited

 

Carter-Scott, Transformational Life Coaching.  Deerfield Beach:  Health Communications, Inc., 2007. 

 

Ferrucci, Piero.  What We May Be.  New York:  Penguin Group, 2004.